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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Back at the house, I’m trying to dry off, and Lili decides it’s a good time to show me her dance moves. She’s twirling around, and I’m just standing there, dripping wet, trying not to slip on the floor. It’s hilarious, though. She’s got some serious moves!

Obituary: Daniel Scarpiello